It's difficult for me to put into words what I have to say, but it must be done, and you don't deserve less than honesty and directness from me. I'm not sure how we ended up where we are today. I guess it was a subtle process, one that snuck up on us. Do you remember that Billy Joel song I played for you the other day: "We Didn't Start the Fire"? I mean, we were always in some sort of crisis mode, but I have to say it hasn't been this bad previously.

It appears as if history is repeating itself, a mirror image of the 20s of the previous century, and we have a foreboding of what is to follow now: the rise of fascists, narcissists, and egomaniacs - everywhere. It pains me to see we did not learn anything from the past, and it is disheartening to recreate the same mistakes – again and again.

I'm devastated because I feel like I've failed you. I always wanted to protect you from the harsh realities of life, to give you a childhood that was filled with hope and joy. I was preoccupied with the day-to-day struggles, not realizing how the small changes we overlooked would snowball in a world that today feels so fragile and frightening.

I wish I could turn back time and create a bubble around you, where you wouldn't have to worry about the state of the world. I want you to know that this isn't your fault; you aren't responsible for this reality, and you shouldn't have to carry that burden.

Where did we go wrong? Where's that single point in time where we made the wrong decision? Honestly, I have no answers, and I recognize that I did nothing to insulate you from this chaotic world. I could not keep you safe from the uncertainty, horror, and fear that accompany a world that seems to be falling apart. I feel as though I have let you down, and that is something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

I always wonder what else I could have done. Could I have been more engaged? Could I have raised my voice more? Is writing some satire every three weeks on this website enough? Should I have gone to Fridays for Future, joined Extinction Rebellion, glued myself to the motorway, or protested against the local fascists in suits in front of the Landtag? Could I have done something, anything, to alter how it all went down? Truth is, I don't know. All I know is that I am sorry. I'm sorry that I did not do more, that I did not fight more, and that I did not stand up for you as I should have.

I was so proud of how humanity dealt with the pandemic, how we fought a common enemy. Together. Blinded by the prosperity that knowledge and technology ushered in, we failed to see the inherent dangers lurking to attack us. At my lowest points, I have selfishly wished the whole mess would just blow up in our faces, terminating humanity once and for all; say, for a fresh start without us – we do not deserve this planet. Goddamn, just get struck by an asteroid like 2024 YR4. Regarding a fatal strike: I really, really wish that bullet had hit its target rather than just grazing the edge of his ear. Three centimeters at most. Thinking about it drives me nuts.
Please, please forgive my anger. I know I'm not the role model you need. Despite all this, know that my love for you is constant. Even amidst turmoil, I hope you find strength, resilience, and optimism within yourself. Remember that, regardless of how overwhelming the world can be, you have the ability to shape future. I have every confidence that you and your generation can achieve positive change, even when the odds appear impossible.

Follow your dreams and keep struggling for what is right. You will always have my unconditional support. Once more, I apologize. I apologize for the world we are living in, and I wish I had been able to do more to make it different - better. But I swear to you, son, I will do all I can to support you, love you, and allow you to thrive in this insane, messed-up world.

With all my love and sorrow,

Mom